A Vindictive Valentine

This is my ORIGINAL vindictive valentine for all the cynical, lonely people out there. Rock on dudes!!!To Whom It May Concern:Here is a poem. Happy Valentines Day!I hope you enjoy it, while you read what I say.This holiday's stupid and society's to blame,Because every year it's exactly the same.Women get flowers that will wither and die.The "love in the air" is really cyanide.Cards are just paper with a few cheesy words.Love songs sound painful, like ten strangled birds.Cupid is Satan in a sweet, little form.The wings are distractions so we won't notice the horns.Love at first sight is such a cliché.Maybe you should walk...no...RUN the other way.All the frogs that I've kissed have turned out to be toads.I wish candlelight dinners would somehow explode.Oh, thanks for the heart, lace trimmed and red.I wish that I'd gotten something useful instead.That's so adorable! A stuffed teddy bear?Don't mind me puking in the gift box over there.Dancing under moonlight must be like heavenCause that's where you're going. Look, Armageddon!Diamonds, in the end, are just shiny stones.They won't give you warm fuzzies when you're sad and alone.That smile on your face from getting engagedWill later be replaced with the fires of rage.And we can't forget what's important in life.A super rich husband or a totally hot wife.Love is just chemicals that mess with your brain.It makes you act foolish and drives you insane.Love is a game where the players all lose.You cheat, lie and try, but your heart ends up bruised.Yes, it's annoying to hear someone complain.You know what? Go ahead. Throw your money down the drain.I admit I'm a cynic. I hope you're not pissed.If you are, I don't care. Go jump off a cliff.And now, once again, I just want to say,I hope you have a Happy...oh screw it...I hate Valentines Day!Written with lots of "love" from,Muriel P.P.S. Don't take this "valentine" TOO seriously...If I personally offended you or hurt your feelings, you can always call Dr. Phil with your sob story. If this mean, cynical poem entertained you on this dreadful day...Then I have done my job. Thank you for your time.

Channel: Entertainment
Uploaded: December 31, 1969 at 4:59 pm
Author: twinkiemp

Length: 04:11
Rating: 3.60
Views: 2097

Tags: alone  bunny  cards  cheat  cynical  diamond  flowers  frogs  hallmark  hate  hurt  kiss  lonely  love  muriel  valentine  vindictive  

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